


Meh

by fairmanor



Series: Tough Talks [5]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Bad Sex, Communication, Episode: s05e01 The Crowening, Established Relationship, Long-Term Relationship, M/M, No Angst, Sex, Smut, dialogue only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairmanor/pseuds/fairmanor
Summary: Some bad sex is had. They talk about it.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Tough Talks [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918438
Comments: 9
Kudos: 176





	Meh

**Author's Note:**

> \- This one is 5x01 inspired and I like to imagine that it happened a couple of days after the park. I would have done a coda to that episode with them talking about the whole "generator" thing, but that's been done a couple of times (and done so well!)

“You can say it, you know.”

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“If you don’t say it, I will.”

“Go on, then!”

…

“That was bad.”

“Mm. Yep.”

“Like, that was –”

“That was some shit sex, Patrick.”

“Wow. I am _incredibly_ offended, David.”

“Yet you’re laughing. And you said it first!”

“I wouldn’t say shit, exactly. More…”

“More meh.”

“Exactly. Meh sex.”

“Just meh.”

“Meh.”

“Meh.”

“So do you think we should – talk about it, then?”

“What’s there to talk about? Sometimes it happens. It’s not always gonna be mind blowing.”

…

“What?”

“You’ve definitely said that before, haven’t you?”

“Hmm...yep. That’s pretty much what I’d say to myself every time I had sex with Rachel.”

“And we both know what _that_ was a symptom of, so…”

“So what?”

“What about this time? What didn’t you like?”

“I don’t know, I guess I wasn’t really thinking about it.”

“What, not thinking about the sex or not thinking about what you didn’t like?”

“…Both? Full consent, obviously, but I guess it was just one of those times.”

“‘One of those times’?! So there have been multiple occasions of this mediocre sex, Patrick Brewer?”

“No! Definitely not. But we’ve been together for a year now, there are bound to be some…rounds, that don’t make the top hundred.”

“…Did you seriously just say ‘rounds’ – ow!”

“That’s what you get.”

“A pair of your sweaty boxers in my face?”

“Never seen you complaining before – are you _breathing them in?”_

“Yes I am.”

“Disgusting.”

“Patrick, we’re getting sidetracked.”

“From what?”

“Our important talk about what we didn’t like just now.”

“Hey, I meant what I said. Even if that’s something I’d said a million times before in the name of compulsory heterosexuality.”

“What, that it doesn’t have to be mind blowing every time?”

“Exactly.”

…

“What, David?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do, babe.”

“I just…don’t want you to start getting more and more unsatisfied with sex. Or with me. Or both.”

“Hey. Come here.”

“How much closer can I possibly get?”

“Back on top of me.”

“I don’t think –”

“Not for that, just to lie here, David!”

“Oh.”

…

“I really like feeling your weight on top of me.”

“Mm. And I, in turn, enjoy completely crushing you beneath me.”

“You know, now that I think about it, I kind of like that that was bad sex.”

“Sheesh, you sure know how to make a guy feel better.”

“Hear me out, David. I used to constantly tell myself sex didn’t always have to be perfect because I wasn’t enjoying myself. This was the first time out of over a hundred times where I haven’t felt like you actually fucked my brains out. It’s that good, that it’s noticeable when it’s not so good. A far cry from when I used to think mediocre was the norm.”

“Okay, I take it back. That actually did make me feel better.”

“And what’s all this about me being unsatisfied?”

“Oh, it’s just me being me again.”

“Don’t say that. Your feelings are still valid, David, but I want to work through them with you so they don’t bother you as often.”

“…Thank you.”

“The reason I say I like that it was just meh is because I feel…settled. And it’s nice. Like we were saying the other day, not everything has to be this big adventure anymore. Sometimes sex is just a means to an end, and we’re just getting each other there before we cuddle up and go to sleep.”

“I like the idea of that more than I thought I would.”

“Mm.”

“I like that things can just be quiet. And kind of, I don’t know, domestic. And I don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t owe you anything. I can just be me. And you can – just be you, I guess.”

“That is the general idea of a relationship, yes.”

“Don’t get smart with me, Brewer – oh, you’ll never get out from under there.”

“I can – try –”

“Nope, too much of a mass disparity going on here. _Why_ are you trying to wriggle out from under me?”

“So I can do _this–”_

“Ow! No tickling! _Stopstopstop_ -”

“Ha! Finally got you back for the time you held me down and tickled me for a whole hour.”

“It was thirty seconds.”

“Same diff. Oh, do that again.”

“What, this?”

“Mm. Yep.”

“You look cute when you do that. Squirm about on the bed like you couldn't be any cosier.”

“Mm. I love you, David.”

“I love you too.”

“And hey, I’d happily have meh sex with you for the rest of my days rather than incredible sex with anyone else.”

“Aw, the rest of your days? That’s a lot of days.”

“Ouch, David! Not if you keep divebombing on top of me, it’s not.”

“Kiss me again.”

“Mm, can do.”

“Patrick –”

“Fuck, you’re hard again.”

“Anything you wanna do about it?”

“Oh, there are plenty of – _fuck, David!”_

“Yep, okay, we’re doing this again –”

“Are you gonna keep talking all the way through this or are you gonna let me fuck you like you deserve?”

“Jesus, fuck –”

“Don't stop -”

_“Patrick!”_

…

“Okay I can see you’re about to ask me a question, and I politely request that you don’t until I am no longer fucked out.”

…

“So? Was that meh enough for you?”

“Oh, the worst.”

“I love you, Patrick.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- Thanks for reading! All of your comments on the last one made me so unbelievably happy, thank you all so much. 
> 
> \- Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://fairmanor.tumblr.com/), if you so desire.


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